“Critics are likely to make enemies, inspector!”

We hope you’ve sharpened your Hanzo swords, little piggies. Why? Because it’s time for …



In the third (much delayed and little anticipated) episode of The Occultists, we slice up “Theatre of Blood” and brood over “Batman: Mask Of The Phantasm”. Search for us on iTunes or listen to us right here! You never can be too careful with all those weirdos around…

0.00 – 3:51 – Intros

3:51 – 22.13 – “Die, you strumpet!” A discourse on ‘Theatre of Blood’

22.13 – 40:41 – “Sal Valestra! Your angel of death awaits..!” A discourse on ‘Batman: Mask of the Phantasm’

40:41 – 51:48 – Cult Confessions: Fanmail

51:48 – 53:47 – Next Time

53:47 – 1:04:16 – Consumption; or, shit we’re eating this week

Opening song: “Battle Without Honor or Humanity” by Tomoyasu Hotei

Closing song: “I Never Even Told You” by Tia Carrera (From the Batman: Mask Of The Phantasm OST)

Films for next month: “The Fly” (David Cronenberg, 1986) and “Female Trouble” (John Waters, 1974).

Drop by our nest of bad taste and buttery popcorn shortly for our ‘wider reading’ on these gems and we’ll be back for a Metamorphosis soon. For the opportunity to trash us publicly, email: theoccultists@hotmail.co.uk

Vincent Price as The Joker illustration by Matt Soffe.


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‘We are in the presence of The Pagemaster!!’ – Further study.

As far as we are concerned, the web of cult entertainment is both vast and intricately woven…and we are the bloated spiders that sit astride its various strands.

Thus we present unto you, further study: a list of items relating to the movies discussed in our latest podcast episode – “Doomed Romance.” The following wretched pieces of work (though not necessarily movies) relate thematically, chronologically, and spiritually to the movies previously discussed.


1. Mean Girls- Mark Waters (2004)

While this 2004 comedy retains neither the bite nor the bile of Lehmann’s movie – instead sacrificing the cynical edge for saccharine romantic comedy – some of the satire elements remain. Replacing the ‘Heathers’ with ‘Plastics’ and written by Saturday Night Live regular Tina Fey with more wit (‘Danny Devito, I love your work!’) than it probably deserved, this is Heathers Zero calorie: a tonally light movie that brushes on the social dynamics in a more intelligent and warm way that most contemporary teen movies. Just don’t expect it to be anywhere near as daring.

2. Wild Children – Image Comics (2012)

Itself hugely inspired by the equally bold Grant Morrison comic ‘Kill Your Boyfriend’, Ales Kot and Riley Rossomo’s Wild Children is a trippy, existential independent comic book chronicling the efforts of a group of disillusioned high-schoolers who take their teachers hostage and promise a ‘different type of education’ – after spiking the coffee with acid and broadcasting the event on cable news. Like Heathers, any popular entertainment  detailing kids with guns in a school is sure to fire people up, but just like the aforementioned movie, dig a little deeper and the subversive elements rise to the surface. Although the form and execution are vastly different from Heathers, Wild Children’s teenage heart beats with a similar twisted rebellion.

3. True Romance- Tony Scott (1993)

After watching Heathers I felt a Christian Slater impulse. While most of his output has failed to move me (Hollow Man II much?), I’ve always held a torch for this team-up with Tony Scott; a great example of young, in-love, and on the run. Formed much closer from an action mould than Slater’s earlier movie, ‘True Romance’ is raised above its generic trappings by a great central chemistry from the man himself and Rosanna Arquette (the couple fall in love over a Kung Fu triple-bill and pie!), as well as stellar supporting turns from Christopher Walken, Dennis Hopper, and Gary Oldman as the unhinged pseudo-reggae drug lord, Drexl. It also sees a rare example of Quentin Tarantino on scriptwriting duties for another director. Plus, Elvis is Christian Slater’s guardian angel. Why haven’t you stopped reading this to watch it already?


1. Porcile (Pigsty) – Pier Paolo Pasolini (1969)
Pasolini’s ‘Porcile’ is probably the closest thing we have to ‘Medea’, although only in regards to tone and style, rather than plot and content. ‘Porcile’ is a dual narrative; the first is centered around the son of an ex-Nazi industrialist who enjoys fucking pigs; the second is about a medieval convict who ‘quivers with joy’ after eating the flesh of his own father. Pasolini made this film directly before ‘Medea’, and both movies have the same abstract, poetic quality. It is considerably more difficult than ‘Medea’ though, and should probably only be watched by viewers with an interest in Pasolini’s work, or fans of more ‘arthouse’ cinema.

2. Orphee – Jean Cocteau (1950)

 Besides being an incredible film in it’s own right, ‘Orphee’ is interesting because it is the perfect antithesis to ‘Medea’. Although both deal with Greek mythology with the intention of making it relevant to a modern audience, both film-makers use completely different techniques to achieve this. In ‘Medea’, Pasolini employs a documentary style of filmmaking, using natural lighting and hand-held cameras to make the story seem visceral and gritty. In ‘Orphee’, Cocteau does the exact opposite, using special effects and camera tricks to create a world that seems magical, dreamy and poetic.

3. Mommie Dearest – Frank Perry (1981)

 ‘Mommie Dearest’ is not exactly the most artful of films ever made, but it is essential viewing for fans of campy, melodramatic women who enjoy torturing their children. It’s basically a biopic (of extremely doubtful accuracy) of Joan Crawford, from the point of view of her long-suffering daughter. If you enjoyed the last scene of ‘Medea’, you’ll love ‘Mommie Dearest’ because it’s pretty much just that – only for 2 and a half hours. It is, truly, a really great cult movie though. It’s as quotable as ‘Heathers’ and it’s worth watching for the “No Wire Hangers!!” scene. Youtube it, bitches.

That’s all from us little creeps – see you back here at the end of the month for a Roaring Rampage of REVENNNNGGGEE!!!!


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“Chaos was what killed the dinosaurs, darling!”

‘sup Nerds! It’s time for a little….

Maria Callas as Medea


In the second episode of The Occultists (which was recorded in a dark, candle-lit library in the middle of NOWHERE), we talk about two of our favourite murderous movies: “Heathers” and “Medea.” Search for us on iTunes, or listen to us right here! Lick it up, baby – Lick. It. Up.

00:00 – 1:44 ~ Intros

1:44 – 23:38 ~ “Hormones and Hairspray: A discourse on Heathers

23:38 – 46:31 ~ “Infanticide and Icky feelings: A discourse on Medea

46:31 – 52:22 ~ Shit we’re eating

52:22 – 54:31 ~ “Next time, Edmund. NEXT TIIIME!!”

Opening song: “It’s Not a Fashion Statement, It’s A Fucking Death Wish” by My Chemical Romance

Closing Song: “Teenage Suicide (Don’t Do It)” by Big Fun

Films for next month: “Theatre Of Blood” (Douglas Hickox, 1973) and “Batman: Mask Of The Phantasm” (Bruce W. Timm, 1993).

We’ve had some amazing e-mails which we will read out and discuss in the next episode, but in the meantime, please send us your feedback, lists of favourite cult films, or anything else you want us to read. You can reach us individually on twitter, or by e-mailing us at: theoccultists@hotmail.co.uk

Maria Callas as Medea illustration by Matt Soffe

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Bring out your dead!

The Bride by Matt Soffe

Today, we dig up the coffin and breach the vault, to introduce you to our grisly creation.

In the first episode of The Occultists, you’ll get to know a bit about your (parasitic) hosts; our favourite films; and why (oh GOD why!?) we have decided to start a podcast about cult movies.

Listen (with horror!) to the first episode on iTunes, or by clicking here.

Films for next month: “Heathers” (Michael Lehmann, 1988) and “Medea” (Pier Paolo Pasolini, 1969)

Opening song: “What Can I Do?” by The Black Belles

The Bride illustration by Matt Soffe


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